Sorry I haven't written the past month. Been too numb to even think straight

My late brother's horse "Eclipse" and the "golden heart" of my herd, fractured his neck in an accident that should never have happened. We treated him for 10 days but his neck broke further every time he stumbled until all his legs were paralyzed.

August 5th, a relative, and his two small kids wanted to play with the horses @ the barn. Since they understood they couldn't ride and there was only two kids to look after I didn't think there'd be any harm in letting them visit and feed the horses carrots. I was so wrong.

What I didn't know was the youngest child brought a friend, so now you've got 3 kids to watch after. I wasn't there, but stayed on the phone with the father the entire time. I must have had a premonition.

He asked me if the older boy [11yr old] could walk Eclipse. I had confidence in his son, so I agreed, but I warned the father that the other horses will eventually take off and Eclipse is going to want to follow them, but all the young boy has to do is tug twice lightly on the lead rope and say "No Eclipse" and Eclipse would remain calm.

The next thing I hear is the other horses taking off and I told him tell your son to tug on the lead rope twice, that'll get Eclipse’s attention and he’ll obey. However, his son was no where around. That’s when I found out it was the little 7 yr old girl, who knew nothing about horses, and was with a friend, was holding & walking eclipse. By the time I told the father to grab the lead rope from her, Eclipse took off with a rope dangling from his halter; FIRST WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH: He's going to trip on the rope and fall!

He did. Eclipse stepped on the rope while running; it pulled him down and the next thing I hear is "His head is trapped in an unnatural position and we can't unhook the rope" Then I hear Eclipse choking. My stomach knotted up but there was no time to get sick. I told the father what to do but instead I received an argument that the horse is NOT choking! {Huh?} In desperation, I made the sound of a horse choking!!! Only then did he agree Eclipse was choking.

I got them to immediately take the halter off. Only then did I feel like I was going to throw up, but I knew I couldn’t.

I asked them to give Eclipse an anti-inflammatory Rx and gave them simple instructions. 20 minutes later the father calls from the car on their way home. They never gave Eclipse any medicine. [Huh?] I had him turn the car around; go back to the barn with me on the phone and together we gave Eclipse butte, I heard later I was considered “too intense”.

The vet had already been called, but couldn't come for a couple hours. When I called the father to let him know what time to meet the vet, his first words were "I guess you want me to pay for this?" I was so taken aback it left me speechless. I just asked: “Was I there?”

Eclipse had broken his neck. I don’t know how he managed to continue walking but every day it became more evident he was struggling and not getting better. I’d find him lying on his knees near the barn while the others were in the front pasture. Soon as he saw he his eyes became huge as bright eyed as usual and so happy to see me that in spite of my pleas for him to stay put, he struggled to get up and meet me in his stall. You could tell by his movements he was having a tough time & in awful pain but his eyes were so bright and so happy to see me that it tore my heart into pieces He was such a loving trusting spirit!

The next morning Malissa found him lying flat in the front pasture struggling to get up but couldn’t. The entire side of his face was worn down to the skin from rubbing against the ground trying to get up. She called the vet right away but they couldn’t come for hours so she called her Grandmother, Billie Poole who owns Pooles General Store. Billie placed a call to the vets and they agreed to be there within 20-30 minutes.

God Bless Billie Poole

When I arrived, Marilyn Poole was watching over Eclipse. I was relieved to see her, Marilyn's heart is warm & nurturing heart with animals. The vet arrived and before she proceeded to give Eclipse his shot, Marilyn ran across the pasture, jumped the fence to my car, grabbed the cut up apples; hopped back over the fence. The vet let me feed him the apple slices before and during the shot. You could tell he enjoyed each slice because his eyelids were lowering in pure bliss.



The vet was telling Marilyn & me about the time she had to cross an icy pasture to reach a horse. She was in her third trimester of pregnancy and huge.  She imitated her waddle and sliding on the ice; it was so funny we couldn’t help but roar with laughter. Eclipse heard the entire thing then closed his eyes for the last time.

I actually thanked the vet for filling Eclipse’s last moments on earth with the sound of joyous laughter.  Can’t think of anything he’d enjoy more; well, other then maybe racing Jazzy.

At first Eclipse was my brother’s horse but he grew to be my best buddy. He would do anything for me and wouldn't hesitate to let me know he wasn't tolerating being left behind from a trail ride twice. Gosh he was funny! Even thou I couldn’t ride him because of Shetan I always looked forward to the sheer enjoyment of taking him along on trail rides, often letting him lead the way or the warm peaceful feeling of knowing he’s listening an obeying. He's safe.

I have to admit, just once, while riding I opened Eclipse all the way. Let him run as fast as his heart desired.  I’ve seen him do it many times but never felt it from astride. All I remember is the smoothness and never feeling his feet touch the ground.  It was magical. 

I wanted to do it again and again, but Shetan gave Eclipse a hard time for the following week after that last ride. It broke my heart. As much as I wanted to ride him It wasn't worth putting Eclipse through anymore stress from Shetan.  At least I let him open his wings and fly that last time.   My Dad once said ask yourself 2 questions: ‘I wish I had or I wish I hadn’t”.  All I can say is  I’m so so glad I did!

I've had more then my fill of tragedies in life. With a lots of hope and determination & faith in God,I managed to always bounce back. But my reaction to Eclipse's death feels different. For the first time in my life, I’m not caring whether I bounce back or not. SCARY!

I've wanted to write before this; I knew I needed to talk to friends & hear supportive words, but I couldn't bring myself to recount and thus relive the horrific accident.Even now it’s still devastating.

To some people Eclipse might be just a cute gray Arabian horse, but after 20 years and a lot of special moments he is so much more then that on so many different levels.  He is family! He's a heart of gold! A comedian! Whenever anyone felt down, he'd leave the herd and play with the person til he got them to giggle. Yet he was majestic, flashy and exciting under saddle! He was fast as the wind! He was the kind of horse anyone would be proud to ride/ I was very blessed GOD allowed him in my life. Hopefully with time I’ll get over feeling so bad that I put him in harms way. 

I am so deeply grateful for Malissa Clements {granddaughter of Billie Poole} & Marilyn Poole {daughter of Billie Poole} for their help and loving support.  Two precious angels from heaven.